He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
