He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
