I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
