And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
