I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
this is an emotional support booty call
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
