never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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