He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
