these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
