You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
why do cheetos always look like penises
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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