their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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