it wasn't lemon gatorade
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
