She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
