Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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