i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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