He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
