dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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