I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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