why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Semen is not good for contacts.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
