dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
