He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
