hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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