just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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