He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
