Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
