I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
