A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There r osticjed everywhere
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
