I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
