Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Swine flu. Run for my life!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dicks are not precious.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
