i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
