tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
