She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
