So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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