Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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