Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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