its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
