She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
