I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
