Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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