i was born a porn star she said
honey bunches of taint.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
