I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We just shotgunned beers for America
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
