he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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