I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
