He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
