3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
