dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
