Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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