so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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