I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
