Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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