you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
