I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
